I. I had been doing casual reading about the Vietnam War for the past few years. I wanted to find out what really happened, and the reason why I am in the United States. The difficulties I experienced in the United States, in the form of both overt and subtle discriminations, finally made me question my own identity. I read as many books as I could find in the public and school libraries on the subject of the Vietnam War. I found out a lot of books didn't tell the truth; or worse, only partial truth, and that only made the subject more confusing. I realized about the propaganda conducted by the media, and books are certainly a form of propaganda. I had to put into practice what I have been teaching my students: to think critically and to search for the truth.
II. I applied for a teaching position with the Olympia School District. I had a lot of spare time, so I began checking out books from the Evergreen State College about the Vietnam War. The library there had books that other libraries didn't have. I read "On Genocide" by Jean Paul Sartre. I read "My Lai 4" by Seymour Hersh. I read "Our Great Spring Victory" by General Van Tien Dung, a book translated from Vietnamese into Italian and then into English.
For the first time, I realized the extent of the atrocities committed by the United States against the Vietnamese people. I did further research by reading microfiche of popular magazines during the time of the war, to find out what the public opinion was at the time. I found out about the public support for Lieutenant Calley, and how he served only for a short time in a privileged barrack, and then he was pardoned. I found out about Nixon calling on the silent majority to support the war in Vietnam, and I found out the United States withdrew only when they knew they couldn't win the war in Vietnam.
It became clear to me the relationship between colonism and racial discrimination, and I finally understood the nature of racism in the United States.
III. I felt angry and I needed to talk with someone, so I went to the Evergreen State College's counseling office. I spoke with a counselor for about half-an-hour. I didn't get another appointment or a referral to another counselor. A counselor there recommended a book, A Different Mirror: A History of Multicultural America -- by Ronald Takaki. I went to the library right after speaking with the counselor to check out the book, but it wasn't available, so I placed a "hold" on the book then went home.
IV. One week later, four policemen and a community mental health counselor showed up at my apartment. They said the counselor at Evergreen told them I made a threat to shoot school children. They delivered a "No Tresspassing" order and told me I am banned from the Evergreen State College, and the Olympia School District, and all of the surrounding school districts as well.
The Olympia newspaper ran a story about me the next day about the "threat" I made. The Olympia School District sent letters to all of the parents about me. They circulated my name and picture, along with what kind of car I drove, to all of the schools. The parents demanded I'd be arrested. The community mental health counselor told me to be careful, and that my life was in danger.
V. It was then that I learned of white people's fear and hypocrisy.