I. I was staying with my uncle's family in Olympia while beginning my schooling at Capital High School in the 10th grade. It was difficult in the beginning, but toward the end of the school year, I was able to understand my teachers completely. I remember feeling so excited when I read my first book in English from cover to cover. I understood most of it, and that gave me a sense of accomplishment.
My living situation at home was not a happy one. There was so much conflicts in the home as we all lived in a tiny apartment and tried to adjust to life in America. My older brother also stayed with my uncle. He didn't like school and had gotten into fights at school. He finally dropped out, hung around with the wrong crowd, and ended up in prison. I was placed in a foster home with a white family during the 11th grade. I moved back in with my uncle's family during the 12th grade.
II. Like most immigrants, I wanted to fit in and to become an American. In fact, I convinced myself that I was white. I changed my name to a white american name. It is no coincidence that immigrants of color would change their names to white american names instead of other ethnic sounding names. When was the last time you heard of a name such as: Julio Wong, or Kunta Kinte Rodriguez?
I began to reject Vietnamese women, and all Asian women in general. I thought the ideal of beauty was white. I was ashamed of the Vietnamese language and culture. I even thought that Vietnamese food, which I ate all of my life, was not good. I was more than willing to stop speaking, reading, and writing in Vietnamese. All of my friends, including my best friend, were white.
III. I became like most other American kids. I joined the swim team, and the cross country team for after school sporting activities. I took classical guitar lessons, and I joined the school choir. I took all of the required courses to graduate from high school, including United States history, but there was nothing about the Vietnam War. There was a collective amnesia about the Vietnam War both in the school texts, and in social discourses.